We need a realistic lifestyle blog.

I’m putting this out there like “The Secret,” because that’s apparently how that works: I would like a blog or website that actually has “Tips on How to Keep Your Broke Ass Alive.”

Because honestly, those tips are definitely more helpful than yet another lifestyle blog on the newest overpriced fashion brand.

And it should definitely be named something better than “GOOP.” For obvious reasons.

Topics it’d need to cover:

  • How to eat on like $5 a day and not die of vitamin deficiency. Related:
    • How to keep food from spoiling, since you’re working 2 jobs and are never home.
    • How to avoid being humiliated at the grocery store because you picked a brand that wasn’t covered by WIC (I worked as a cashier and saw this happen more than once).
    • Tips on getting produce that isn’t already spoiling so you’ll actually eat it.
  • What is loan consolidation and who should/should not go for it?
  • Chucking a dress v. getting it tailored: When is it cheaper to do one instead of the other? Also:
    • Which are the best thrift shops near me?
    • How can I avoid “vintage” shops that are just incredibly overpriced?
  • My health care provider is screwing me over and I don’t have 3 hours to be on the phone during regular business hours. What do I do?
  • I’m out of tampons, have a heavy flow, and I don’t get paid for 3 days. Yes, the diva cup is a good investment…in hindsight. What do I do now?

Someone write this. Because if I have to see this one more time:

print_she-believed-she-could
so she asked her friends for seed money and they had it which was such a coincidence

I will lose my mind.

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